Just My View : Untitled.

Oluwaseun Ojo

ojooluwaseunridwan@gmail.com

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For the past two weeks, I have constantly been on the road for some programs. During one of those trips, a lady with whom I was in a car asked me some questions that really amazed me.

Before she asked those questions, I have been noticing some reactions in her that was telling me that she wanted to talk about (or find out) something about me.

Well, since she hasn't asked any question, I remained muted. Who answer an unasked questions? But truly, I was curious too. Few hours later, she asked one of those questions? 

"Why are you so calm, cool... I mean...mehn?."

Ah...well.

I became nervous then went offline for few seconds, then came back...

I couldn't figure out what to say immediately. I ransacked my brain for an appropriate answer and at the end, I told her with smiling glowing on my face, gesticulating with my hands,

"ahm, ahm... I just...like it"

That wasn't the comprehensively true and correct answer though. But it worked at that moment.

About the question itself, I was worried. Am I truly cool, calm as she had said? I asked myself. ...or gentle, as some people have told me in the past? 

Seriously, I just have to believe it, I don't totally agree. I am not saying I disagree actually, but, maybe because I have some guys and girls in my life, who if those people who are referring to me as "cool" see, they would attest to real definition of coolness.

Back to the lady, maybe it's because among the five guys in the car, I was the one saying the minimum number of words. Number of words I spoke for that day ten hours (to and fro) journey was countable. So, in the city of the blind, you would agree that a one-eyed man should be the king.

Also, I present my view in a calm way, I make my point only when it wouldn't lack audience, not when others are speaking in hundreds (I don't want to say thousands, so that you won't compare them to barbarians, lol).

So, I couldn't say she was wrong because she obviously had her reasons. Yeah, and I always look cool (except when I'm stressed, angry or hungry).

Later, upon our returns from that journey, she asked another similar question. This was because of a particular situation and how I handled it,

"Seun, why are you always feeling shy?"

This time around I was more confident. I answered promptly. I told her that I tend to be like that when I'm around new people (that is, people other than those I have been interacting with before). 

I was glad specifically for this (2nd) question. The reason is that, I believe that one of the good qualities of a real human being is shyness. That's why my people would say whoever lack shyness is free to behave in whatever way he wants.

Afterwards, I was praying within myself that she should not asked me another question. This was because of two reasons.

One; I don't feel comfortable after a long conversation with a stranger op-s*x, (a conversation become long in this situation for me when it's exceeding 2mins. I might ran out of words and things might get miserably absurd. I don't want that. Therefore I always prefer prevention so that I won't need the cure.

Two; I want to concentrate on what I was doing. I was looking at the grasses and trees outside the moving car. I like to do that while traveling, that's why you would always find me beside windows of the vehicle. It helps me think, it gives me joy, it makes me calm, it helps my brain and mind settled. It returns my heart to God, it gives me a break from worldy choas. 

You think you know me?

The truth is, people don't really know who we are until they get closer to us. But to say the truth, our actions and reactions go a long way in revealing part of us. That's why it won't take more than few minutes interaction to discover whether a man is wise or stupid. This may be wrong though... So it depends.

People in some instances think we are this when in reality, we are that. That's why it's very important for you to let people always meet that best part of you that attracted you to them in the first place. If you actually don't have what they think you have in characters, I believe you can build.

For example, the lady I talked about, I should strive to maintain being cool, and every other qualities she admired about me. So that if we get closer, I won't appear to be below her expectations. Not because of her actually, but myself. Yeah, it's always about self.

I read this sentences somewhere in the past days, here is it;

‘Things are never as good as they seem. But things are also never as bad as they seem.’

It only gets better. Build yourself, that's what will bring you an everlasting Joy. Well, I'm just saying... 

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Eeni:

I read recently about how people misjudge others, this is caused by some cognitive biases that's inherent in us as humans; how we see people exhibiting a particular trait and then we proceed generalizing that they should have other similar ones, which is usually not so. This is called an "Halo effect". 

Interested? you can read it here.

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New words I've learned this week:

Faux = "fake or artificial"

Temerity = "the quality of being confident and unafraid of danger or punishment especially in a way that seems rude or foolish"

Thanks for reading.